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Johhny B Gouda
Fertnel Snak Corporation's Beautiful Logo - All Rights Reserved

Fertnel Snak Corporation Brands

Fertnel is proud to own 637 brand names from around the world. While several were invented in Fertnel's own famous FertnOFlavOLab, many of the rest were acquired by hostile take-overs or other less savory means.

For you the customer, however, all it means is good eating, fun and ... more good eating.

Fertnel Snak Corporation Brand Overview

Fertnel Snak Corporation's Famous MeatNickle - All Rights ReservedMeatNickels continue to be one Fertnel's most profitable and least litigated brands. These savory meat bits, in the familiar pressed coin shape, enjoyed a 38% increase last year when Fertnel introduced the collector Civil War General Collection, where the likeness of several esteemed warriors were embossed into the meat's surface. The MeatNickel mint, located in Lip, Kentucky, has plans to produce more collector's series, including famous moments in science, unknown actresses from the 20's and a series of famous race horses.

Fertnel Snak Corporation's Nice 'N Cheasy - All Rights ReservedNice 'N Cheasy has been popular ever since Fertnel Corporation spent 68 billion dollars on a global advertising campaign including TV, print, vegetables, engineered cloud patterns, and highway asphalt embedded subliminals. Recent brand extension include:

  • Nice 'N Cheasy Sandwich Mousse
  • Nice 'N Cheasy Tortilla Spritzer

Fertnel Snak Corporation's Flavor Bomb - All Rights ReservedTargeting generations X, Y, Z and Generation - back - to- the - front-of - the - alphabet - again isn't easy for most multi-national snak-food companies. Not true at Fertnel! Our marketing department is closely monitoring the latest slang, jargon and eating patterns.
FlavorBomb has already introduced young taste buds to a series of unique flavors, such as RadicalRadish, Yo! Yo! Yo! Yogurt and Extreme-Soy. These flavors are, as this up-to-the-second demographic would say, rad and gnarly to the max, baby!

Fertnel Snak Corporation's Sweepings - All Rights ReservedOne of the biggest successes of the past nine quarters has been Fertnel's Sweepings. What used to be dust and bits of foodstuff that had collected in our snak machines or the factory floor, is now a sometimes tasty, sometimes crunchy, sometimes orange, sometimes spongy mixture of pure profits.

 

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