Fertnel Snak Corporation News

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE, Fertnel Snak Corp. second quarter profits were down 688%, but like our pals in the beleaguered airline industry, bonuses for top executives are up by more twice that, to approximately 1343%. One Fertnel executive was quoted as saying, "My bonus will have a direct and positive effect on the economy. The economy of Fiji, that is! Where I'm buying another island!" He was then taken to a local hospital and treated for an interminable case of the giggles.

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FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE, Fertnel Snak Corp. is sending a team of Fertnel Snak capitalism experts to Iraq to help our new friends rebuild their proud country. The five member team has 53 years experience in important nation-building skills such as: union-busting, creative accounting, golden-parachutes, off-shore investments and PR spin.

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For Immediate Release:The lawsuits have ended and Fertnel Snak Corporation is back on the internet with more information and excitement than ever before!

Check all the exciting areas for information about products, wacky stuff for the kids and fun for everyone.

The Fertnel Snak Corp. Board of Directors voted today to suspend all internet activities due to significant cost overruns and security issues. Also, the Board of Directors has determined that the internet is nothing more than a passing fad. Fertnel will, therefore, invest 68 Billion dollars in Polaroid cameras, fax machines and sidwalk chalk.