Fertnel Snak Corporation Q and A
Ask the Fertnel Snak Science Team (with supervision from the Legal Department, oversight from the Policy Oversight Group, suggestions from the On-line Property Development Group and, of course, additional supervision from the 6,801 employees of Fertnel's Human Resources Division) and get quick and easy answers! (Responces take a minimum of 6 to 8 weeks.) (Scroll down for the Question Form.)
I've been creating wall objects with Fertnel ArtMeat for several years, and I love ArtMeat's workability with chainsaw and backhoe, but my work is consistently marked by a distinct aroma - how do I cure this?
-Mikasso
It's funny that you use the word "cure". William De Kooning, who often worked with meats, cheeses and sometimes shrimp scampi, ran into the same issue you seem to be having. The answer, as he discovered, is brine curing.
Brine curing involves mixing art with curing salt and water to make a sweet pickle solution. Inject your art with the brine using a meat pump or by soaking the art in a tub of brine.
The art critic Arthur Danto once wrote, "The defining moment of the late defining twentieth-century was none other than the simple juxtaposition of art, meat, water and salt ... plus one head of cabbage, a couple of carrots ... some garilc..."
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How come I can't find expiration dates on any Fertnel products? - Timmy
Since 1985, no Fertnel product had legally been required to have expiration dates. As you may have read in the case of Stochosky vs. Fertnel, Judge Thomas Krimpson ruled that because Fertnel's Clam Flavored Doughnuts are never actually "fresh", they can not "expire".
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